Skins 3x02 "Cook"

After gotten a small introduction of each character in the first episode of series 3 this one is going to focus on Cook and his seventeenth birthday. It starts with Cook, drunk and happy, walking down a street with JJ and Freddie by his side singing ‘Ace of Spades’ so the whole town understands that it is unsafe to go out. But unfortunately an old man who probably was deaf didn’t hear them coming. Luckily Freddie saved the old man and Cooks mood wasn’t changed. Seventeen is a big age, your almost eighteen, your one year older than sixteen and you have only forty-eight years left to retirement and pension. So the only mission Cook has for his big day is getting drunk, high and his sexual needs feed.

What happens when a Cook, a JJ and a Freddie walks into a bar? Answer; Cook drinks beer who could have feed the whole bar. Some drugs in Cooks hand after his Idol and uncle leaves his present there.

They await the return of the girls at the bar and when the girls finally arrive Cook goes mental drowning himself in beer while everyone else is waiting for his trip to go down.
They sit down, singing a half hearted birthday song for the kid that gets so moved he gives JJ a kiss on the check. But he just as soon gets bored and wants to know what’s next. The answer is tequila and apparently tequila and strawberry milkshake don’t work so nicely together since Pandora puke all over the table. Cooks way of solving the problem is more tequila. Then the “lesbian” arrives (Naomi) and Katie leaves a bitchy comment "Oh great it’s the lesbian and she is here to gay us up!" not being happy about it while Emily tells her to be quiet. Cook on the other hand believes he is the cure to the supposedly gay Naomi but soon gets distracted when Emily gives him a birthday cake. He eats the whole cake by himself and down it with more beer. Cooks food eating skills are not appreciated by the girls who are unsatisfied with Cooks supposed "party". So Cook tries to figure out how to please the ladies and how to get a decent hook up. Freddie’s sister seems to be the way to make a great night since she is at a hen party. And after bribing the bride to be with a kiss and some drugs they soon get inside the party who seems to have gone on repeat since the 1980s.

Getting inside, sleazy music is played and gang members are everywhere. Cook is happy because of the free booze and when he is confronted with the bride’s dad they soon realize he is the mental head case AND the most feared criminal gang leader in Bristol, Johnny White, who decides to keep an extra eye on the drinking Cook.
They all go to the toilet to snort some home baked drugs, Panda who not has that much experience with drugs but still have decided she now likes them eats all the powder leaving Freddie’s sister and the Bride with nothing. The bride gives Cook a reason to get some more drugs since he think his dick will get its satisfaction.
Cook tells his plan to JJ and Freddie who both gets a bit stunned since they both think Cook likes Effy. But what they didn’t know about but now found out is that Cook already had her, leaving both JJ and Freddie hurt sincethey both want her. A possible tear starts to take formation in JJs eye.

Naomi who is tired of the party soon leaves followed by Emily who wants her to stay. It’s now the first time we get some information about their kiss. “Why does your sister think I’m the one who is gay?” Naomi’s question tells us what we needed to hear. Emily who is so used to playing cat and mouse with her sister, and usually is the mouse, does as she always do, says she’s sorry. Naomi who is not pleased with the answer leaves in her sexy, strutting way.

Johnny is on stage, making a speech for his daughter and is showing his love though a god awful song. Johnny must have had his head up his arse since he can’t hear when everyone is laughing. Pandora collapses but soon wakes up, Cook score some drugs from his Uncle and ends up in the closet with the bride. He gives her some to snort then starting to unzip, but the bride is not impressed by his seduction skills and says that if he can impress her he can do whatever he wants with his dick.

Billy Idols “Little Sister” plays in the background, Cook walk towards the stage in his cocky drunk way, grabbing the microphone and starts to sing a song for the Bride. Imagine a person so annoying, singing a sleazy song, but actually do it good. That’s Cook. Seeing that testosterone bag sing was a sight I will never forget.
But Johnny who can’t stand a guy singing better than him (like that should be a hard task?) at his daughter’s hen party starts to get very mad, eyes all x-ray, looking through the audience so he can lock on Cook and then there is time for some rugby.

Waking up after having Johnny smashed a bottle in the back of his head Cook gets saved form an angry Johnny by Freddie. But since Johnny’s people isn’t that smart they let him go right there on the spot, but they forgot he being at a rail on the top floor. But at least Cook got a soft landing, though the cake got some bashing and then it’s time to RUMBLE. The tough gang member gets all wet in their eyes when their tracksuits got drenched in splashing cake.
Fleeing the scene of a cake fight they stop in a tunnel, Cook still mad because he still has not gotten laid, he starts to reach out to the girls ending up getting none. Freddie who is also tired of Cooks recent events leaves too.

Cook now only has a last resort, a brothel, he brings JJ on to get some action and hopefully help JJ lose his cherry. Well Cook gets the one with a large bosom (she looked kind of like a white copy of Big Mama) while JJ gets the leftover who turns out to be a really sweet girl.
Cook who is not that good with cash only has enough for a hand job, JJ on the other hand has money for it but since this cute little dork who does magic tricks never even kissed a girl before just wants to learn how to do that. I smiled a bit for this, almost got a tear in my eye until Cook comes barking in dragging JJ towards a sound of a man being ‘disciplined’. When the dominatrix gets out of the room they get in seeing Johnny White laying there with his hands tied above his head.

Cook who is ready for some payback starts to insult and make fun of Johnny in his current tied up situation. Johnny, this bad ass macho guy abusing too much around him enjoys a good spanking now and then, but he who is starting to get both embarrass and irritated starts to make up a story about Cooks life. He apparently didn’t pee as far from the bush as he thought because Cook snaps and starts to beat the smile of Johnny’s now bleeding face. In his adrenaline rush he almost attack JJ as well. JJ is scared shitless out of this, no nerves, innocent and afraid, so Cook act like the gentleman he's not and drops him off at home. Next we see Cook waking up Freddie while standing on the backyard. There he convinces Freddie to come down to a shed on the yard where they make peace… for now and Cook walks home all happy, until he gets shoot… he thinks, but it was just the exhaust system of a old car who some slight resembles with my beloved car.
Relived by this Cook goes mental once again and starts shouting “Ace of Spades”… again.

- Elin