Skins 3x04 "Pandora"

We all love and adore Pandora, right? She is “Twistamatic Baby”. It’s Pandora’s episode of series 3 of ‘Skins’.

It starts up with Pandora cuddling (or maybe sleeping) with Effy’s feet. Looks like they had a long night. When Panda wakes up she has Tomas necklace in her hands, talking to it hoping he can hear. “Come back” goes on repeat like a broken record until Effy’s mom who has been watching everything interrupts;

Effy's Mom: Hi I made tea.
Pandora: Huh? Oh!
Effy's Mom: Oh sorry I didn't mean to surprise you.
Pandora: It's okay Anthea. Um, what are you doing?
Effy's Mom: Oh, you know... Just looking.
Pandora: Right, wizza. Ef's a bit out of it. She is beautiful, not like me.
Effy's Mom: Oh, seems like somebody likes you.
Pandora. My boyfriend gave it to me. I only knew him 3 days, Thomas. Now he's gone.
Effy's Mom: But it was fun while it lasted, did it? Soo much fun.
Pandora: Yeah, it's called love.
Effy's Mom: Woa, it's a big word.
Pandora: Oh, I don't know 4 letters… Oh! Well I’m sure it is love.
All you wanna do is kiss them and... you know, other stuff... brilliant stuff...
Effy's Mom: Yeah... Yeah, brilliant stuff. Maybe this Thomas will hop on a train and come back to see you.
Pandora: You can't get a train from New Congo.
Effy's Mom: Congo?
Pandora: Yeah it's a democratic republic located on the equator border to Garbon and Cameroon.
Effy's Mom: Yeah I remember now.
Pandora: I really miss him. Do you think love conquers all Anthea?
Effy's Mom: Oh, I hope so sweetie. Why don't you wake up sleeping beauty and tell her we got something called breakfast in our country

Pandora’s way of waking up someone is very lovable. Stand up; stretching your back then “Wiiiiiii” KABoom and Effy is up (jump down on the bed).
Even though that rough awakening everyone acts like zombies during breakfast, Pandora is doing all the talking, Effy just agree and fill in, Effy’s dad just sit there and wonder what the hell of a language Pandora is speaking and Effy’s mom is doing the dishes. The door bell interrupts the discussion and outside stands Jim, Effy’s dads work mate (and his wives lover).
“I can’t do it!” Jim who is supposed to be of on something work related now stands on Stoneham’s doorstep crying out to the love of his life. Effy’s dad apparently believes he’s the object of Jims feelings but soon gets an abrupt awakening when Jim storms inside and starts kissing his wife, all this is viewed by Pandora and Effy. Effy who is a both relieved, sad and angry run out of the hallway.
Now in the kitchen Pandora tries to comfort Effy in the best way she can, try to finding an explanation. Effy don’t seem to find comfort in this so she runs out of the house and towards the pier with a Pandora in her tail. Pandora tries to make sense in what has happened during the morning. And when she cleared that out she asks if Effy still wants to come to her “Pajama party”, Effy sees the chance of getting drunk to numb her pain but then Pandora freaks. From what we have gotten to know over some time is that Pandora’s mother is a control freak with stricter rules than the Pope. No boys, no drugs, no booze, no nothing. A life of emptiness and boringness. Effy who is just happy to say away from home says she will join. On their way from the pier they run into Katie and her boyfriend Danny (who I assume everyone wants to kick around on a muddy field). Katie has prepared big time for the sleepover, MDMA, weeds and pills. Everything to get a party started. Panda once again has to explain no boys, no drugs and no booze is allowed. They are going to play Twister and Katie’s reaction to this is “Cool, you can snort that right?” Katie then says good bye to her sleazy boyfriend by shamelessly making out with him, scarying all the fish out the water.

They arrive at Pandas house; it was not hard to miss since Panda’s mom had put out balloons with Pandora’s name on them so everyone would know where to go.

Katie: How many people did you invite?

Pandora: Um, 4, you, Ef, Emily and Naomi.

Katie: Naomi, why did you invite her?

Pandora: Em says I I’ll have to, or else she won’t come.

Effy: Aww, sweet.

Well inside Panda yells like a goat for her mom. We hear a rumble in the kitchen, a muttering woman and then some fast but light steps over the floor. And out comes Pandora’s mom with a nose drenched in flour telling Pandora to well not shout like a goat in the house. They enter their calm space exercises leaving Effy and Katie glare around on everything but the mother and daughter. Otherwise they would probably break out in gut clenching laughter. When Pandora has found her ‘calm space’ she introduces Effy to her mom and her mom has heard Soooo much about her;

Pandora: Yeah, you know Ef, your missionary work.

Effy: Yeah I try to do as much of that as I can.

Pandora's Mom: That's good, there are so many bad things in the world. Boys and drugs. Guns. Alcohol. Boys. Evil things. I'm glad Pandora found a channel that she can pour her energy in to.
Effy: Well yes, all the semen likes her.
Pandora's Mom: Semen?
Effy: Yes, loads of semen. Some of them are homeless as well. We do love to see Pandora get into the missionary position.

They go on to make brownies, Pandora starts to sing and soon everyone is up to singing while baking. Shake n’ Bake honey. Effy distracts Pandora and her mom while Katie spike the brownies with MDMA, soon there should be a party going on.
Outside the door Naomi is arriving with wine and beer, not really knowing what she is doing there. She gets glared by the scary neighbor who apparently finds it joyful to cut the hedge. He looks but still has nothing to say.
Before Naomi gets a chance ringing the bell Emily comes, Naomi mutter “Jesus” but I don’t think he heard. Emily who never been to a pajama party before brought Vodka, damn this non drugs and alcohol party is going to be fun. Naomi who still doesn’t know why she was invited soon finds out. She asks if Emily soon will tell anyone that she is gay, “No I’m not gay!” Emily says to defend herself. Naomi who is not interested in Emily’s affections tells her she is a “Cock Cruncher” and not a “Muff Muncher” Emily tries to save the situation with a whole speech that they are going to spend the next two years together and might as well be friends. So to light up the mood she asks Naomi if she has gotten any “cock” lately and she has… 17 times but the guy had erectile dysfunctions so she was getting tense elbow. Damn those men, tiring women out for nothing.
When the freaky neighbor hears them talk about sex he has a whole speech about how they are “decrease full young women” and that it’s a calm neighborhood. Naomi just tells him to “fuck off” and Ta-da, Pandora must have a sixth sense about knowing when someone is outside the door.
“HIIii” throwing the wine, beer and vodka in the giant flower box they have on the driveway. “Moooom, more friends, Naomi and Emily”. When Pandora’s mom arrives to the door they do the whole calm thing again leaving Naomi and Emily looking at each other instead. When they get inside Naomi and Emily walks in like nothing has happen but as I might have forgotten to mention Pandora’s mom is very neat, she has a “Shoebox” were you have to put your shoes before entering the house. So Panda throws herself over Naomi’s feet’s and rips her shoes of, throwing them (And if I might say very skillfully) scores when the shoes hits the box. Emily was smart enough to get her own shoes of.
Pandora’s mom gets confused when Panda talks about how great friends Naomi and Emily are. For those who not know that Emily is a twin it might be confusing seeing the same person be called by two names. So soon Naomi, Katie and Emily stand in front a babbling Pandora who accidently mentions Tomas and her now very confusing mother wonders if she has been defying her view on boys. Naomi saves Pandas ass by saying Tomas is her ‘boyfriend’. So Panda’s mom direct her attention to the twins asking them questions like If their parents allow boys in parties, of course not… yeah right. Then asks if they like the same things, Naomi who can’t keep from smiling very seductive waits for Emily to answer, “I don’t know” seems to be an accepting answer.
Panda who is now overly ecstatic shouts something about “Brill” “Twister” and “Twistamatic” then we just hear the rumblings of her feet’s going up the stairs.
Effy who is half sleeping by the oven waiting for the brownies to get done wakes up when it rings. Pandora’s mom comes running, take the brownies out and put them on the kitchen bench. They both lean over the newly fresh brownies. Since they are both there, alone, they do the first taste.

Naomi, Emily and Katie sits on a bed, looking at a ‘Twister’ mat, not looking so enthusiastic;

Naomi: Twista? Are you shitting me?
Katie: Don't worry, I spiked the chocolate brownies with MDMA.
Emily: You what?
Katie: Yeah, appreciate it okay. There's fucking 40 quid’s worth in there.
Naomi and Katie laughs.
Emily: You think it's funny?
Naomi: It is kind of.
Katie: Yeah, enter into the spirit Em.
Naomi: So Katie, you gonna be nice to me now with twister pals? Promise not to grab you minge and everything.
Katie: (Laughs) Okay, Ha Ha. Hands of the muff and we're sorted.
Naomi: Gottcha! No buffing the beaver.
Katie: No groping the growler.
Naomi: Don't tickle on my tinkle.
Katie: Okay I won’t fluff up your flench.
Emily: Are you done?
Katie: Yeah, we are double done with the DNA dump.

The Pandora storms in with what looks like clothes, but you can’t be sure;

Panda: “Hey Guys, what you think? Mom made them specially… Look!”
Naomi: “Jesus”
Panda: “So you can have Sexy Poo” throwing it at Naomi, “Or Brainy Poo, Except for me cos I’m Panda Poo. Mama and me sown them all, it’s a whacker job I’m telling you.”
Naomi: “I’m not wearing that!”
Panda: “Why not? It’s a pajama party!”
Katie: “What the fuck, give it here.
Panda: “Ooh Wizza Poo, cos look what goes with them” show a pair of boxers with the text ‘Bum’ on them.

So now the Pajama party is officially open.
Outside Cook and JJ talks about what girls do in a Pajama Party, Cook tells JJ that all his dirty fantasies do exists in those parties, but JJ don’t believe him because the statistic says otherwise. Cook convinces JJ to take a sneak peek so they walk towards the door; Cook grabs the vodka bottle from the flower box when they hear someone at the door. Cook throws himself out of the way leaving JJ face to face with Pandora’s testosterone hating mom. “Hi” and he gets treats about her calling the police if he doesn’t leave her house asap. Closing the door she then presses her face towards the window next to the door making sure that the now slightly afraid JJ leaves.
Next scene Pandora’s mom and Effy is setting the party table with brownies, drinks and such when they MDMA start to kick in. Apparently a bowl full of greenish liquid is very funny.
During the same time back at Pandora’s room the girls have started to strip to get there originally made Pajamas on. Emily giving lustful and curious glares towards Naomi who has gotten stuck in her pajamas. Meanwhile Cook and JJ are outside the window. Cook tries to convince JJ of letting him have a peak, but since JJ is such a gentleman he has to do it himself first.
A room full with half naked women can get any boy full with testosterone happy and excited. Cook tries to wrestle himself to the window, finally he gets there and at the same time Effy walks into the room “What the fuck?” Naomi gives her a “Don’t ask” look and she walks towards the window saying “Whatever” and strips of her shirt. Cook got his glare for life and before he really could enjoy it he and JJ fall down the ground.
The girls wondering what the sound was got a “Nothing, tummy, too much cake” answer.
Panda’s mom smash open the door, lean against the post with a plate on her hand full of brownies.

Outside Cook and JJ once again discuss about why and why not crashing the party. But I don’t see how much convincing JJ needs. I mean a house full of hot women, high, what more do you need?
Anyways Cook sees my point so he grabs the vodka bottle once again and climb up the drainpipe.
Meanwhile JJ calls Freddie to warn and rate the stupidness scale of Cooks plan. JJs mission is to stop Cook and get him out before he does something stupid. It looks like Mission Impossible 5 is in making.
In through a window Cook climbs, finding himself on unknowing grounds. When he hears voices coming he runs into the closet to avoid the guards.
Brownies + Dancing = Bad combination for Panda’s mom who collapsed and now is carried to her bedroom (in which Cook is hiding in the closet) by Naomi and Emily.
Emily: “Is she breathing?” looking at Naomi
Panda’s Mom: ‘burp’
Emily: “Yep”
They head out the bedroom, leaving Cook in a closet he looked himself into with a bottle of vodka as company.
In the hallway Panda has looked herself in the bathroom, crying, while Effy stands outside banging on the door, trying to get Panda to talk to her. A crying Pandora opens the door, giving Effy a lecture in how selfish she is. Always doing want she wants without thinking of others.
Effy who is sad about her parents splitting and about Pandora not wanting to talk to her, dismiss Katie when she is trying to comfort her outside the now looked again bathroom. Effy runs into the other bathroom leaving Katie speechless in between two looked doors.
Outside a nervous JJ stands collecting the guts to open the front door. He finally does but then hears on coming voices so he runs and hides behind the car.
Out comes Naomi collecting the wine and beer while talking to Emily who is still inside. They meet up in the living room and there Naomi asks Emily what she wants to drink;

Emily: Anything. Just give me a fucking... Just give me a...

Emily kisses Naomi.

Naomi: Oh… It's only the drugs right?

Emily nods and then kiss her again this time more passionately. In the background we se JJ appear in the doorpost.

Emily: You like that?
Naomi nods

Naomi: You're gay.

Naomi walks away.

Emily: Yes
Emily follows

JJ: Oh. My. Giddy. Giddy. Giddy... Aunt

Full kiss scene click here.

Cook is getting bored in the still locked closet; Katie is bored since she has no one to talk to so she goes looking for her sister. She sees Emily and Naomi through the kitchen window bumping around in a moon bounce castle, they fell, they kiss and I’m probably guessing, but I think Katie’s world just got a rude awakening.

Before Katie has a chance to melt this newly, but not surprising, information she hear car horns and her sleazy boyfriend’s voice from outside the door. There he is, with all the boys from the team whose names all end with an O, and their ‘posh’ girlfriends.
Soon a party is going on and Effy retreats to Panda’s mom’s bedroom, where her mom is still knocked out. She starts to apologize until she hears sounds from the closet. But instead of getting Cook out she joins him.
Pandora is still in the bathroom crying, wishing Tomas was there. Back up in the closet Cook and Effy is having sweet and lovingly intercourse towards the back wall. But you can imagine their surprise when the wall, or rather doors, collapse behind them leaving them in an unknown bedroom. They soon figure out they are next door, at the creepy neighbor, the room is full of sex equipment. Wall straps by the bed and a camera. There is also a TV with a DVD player hooked to it. In it a film lays. Cook plays the video. First the creepy neighbor who we find out is named Martin, next second Pandora’s mom, who we find out is named Angela, appears in sexy underwear and “This is how we have sex”.
Some lustful moans in the background when the camera focuses on Cook and Effy’s chocked faces.

Outside Freddie appears to play knight in shining armor to save a Locked on JJ. Before he gets in creepy neighbor Martin appears with a hedge scissor telling Freddie he has called the Police.
Freddie doesn’t really care since JJ is inside. Well inside drunk soccer players and their girlfriends play twister and fool around. JJ stands in a corner paralyzed. Freddie grabs JJ and takes him out to a waiting cab. Effy who’s on the dance floor sees Freddie, all happy and naïve she runs out after him.
“You came” and then she gets sort of dismissed by Freddie who usually is like a love sick puppy around her. But since no one seemed to care for JJ I guess he thought no one should be allowed to be cared for either. So a sad Effy walks home after the cab with Freddie and JJ leaves.
Now the house is all empty, Pandora has gotten out from the toilet, watching her now messed up house. The only one left is Cook;

Cook: We are the last ones standing. No one got any stamina these days.

Pandora: Right. Wizza. I wanted to play twister and then girls was gonna tell me how to do sex.

Cook: Bummer. How did you do it anyway?

Pandora: HUh? You know, you have done loads of sex.

Cook: No, twister.

Pandora: Oh, well you spin the dial and then you put your hands and feet are where it tells you.

Some spins of the Twister thingy, some smoke inhales and then some touching an actually sweet Cook finally gets the guts to ask;

Cook: Eh, Panda?

Pandora: Yes cookie?

Cook: Do you want me to show you?

Pandora: What?

Cook: You know…

Then Cook and Pandora lock on each other and have some sweet sex.
It’s now the morning after, Effy lays in her bed thinking. Then we join her and her mother at the breakfast table. Miserable and sad;
Effy’s mom: “You really are beautiful!”
Effy: “So are you mom!”

Effy’s mom: “I wanted to be, but more time!”
Effy answers with a silent nod in understanding.

Effy now stands outside the door to Pandora’s house collecting her guts to ring the bell. She hears someone coming towards it but instead of running and hide behind the car as JJ did she runs and hide behind the stone wall surrounding the hedges.
Out come Pandora and Cook all happy. They talk; Pandora gives him a fast kiss but nothing more even though Cook tries. When Cook then leaves Effy pops up from her hiding place. When Pandora turn around Effy walks up to confront her about Cook;

Effy: “Any Good?”
Pandora: “I don’t know what you mean!”
Effy: “I mean he’s a sensational fuck, yeah!”
Pandora: “There is a load of things you doesn’t know about me Ef. Just cos I’m useless doesn’t mean I’m nothing.”
Effy: “We’re friends because you don’t surf and turf my men. You said that!”
Pandora: “He’s not yours Ef, he will never belong to anyone, that’s why you don’t really want him!”
Effy: “Shut up, Shut up!”
Pandora: “He is not the one you want Ef!”
Effy: “Shut Up!”
Pandora: “You see I know that because I’m your friend. But you don’t make enough effort Ef. I’m just there to laugh at, you don’t know me. My life, my family, my mom. Why don’t you know anything about my mom? I know everything about yours.”
Effy: “You’re right; I don’t know anything about your mom.
Pandora: “Sorry, okay?”
Effy: “Yeah”

They look in understanding on each other.
Effy: “Oh Jesus”
Pandora: “What?”
Effy: “Be careful what you wish for Pandora!”
Pandora: “Why?”
Tomas: “Panda, Panda. Look I’m here. Panda, it’s me. Are you not glad to see me? Mother said I could come back.”
Pandora begins to cry, Effy does the same in the background.
Tomas: “What’s wrong?”
Effy: “Don’t be a twat Tomas. Give your girlfriend a hug.”
He gives Pandora a hug, a hug that she has been longing for so long but still don’t really want right now.
Poor Pandora, poor Effy, poor Katie, lucky Emily, confused Naomi… They all grew up so fast. It makes my eye tear.

- Elin and Ikke